What advice would you give to women considering surrogacy?
I would say to just look into it especially if you enjoy being pregnant. I am 20 weeks pregnant right now and I honestly don’t even feel pregnant. It's just an easy process. My pregnancy with my daughter was easy, so if you enjoy your pregnancies and want to help a family out, it could be a great option. What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate? I thought about it for a while and posted a Facebook post asking about being a surrogate. Someone reached out to me and gave me information. I decided if I am going to do it, I am not going to wait any longer and jumped in. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? A lot of people ask if I am going to be too attached. But you get so bonded with the parents and so excited for them, so I never look at it as my baby. I am just so excited for the parents. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? The extra income all goes to my savings to help me buy my home in the next year. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? SCS is great and the owner, Kim, is amazing. She is great at answering questions and has wonderful advice. She never just takes your side, she is very balanced and looks at something from all angles. She has been wonderful the entire time.
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What was the turning point for your decision to become a parent?
One of my friends and her husband have been struggling with infertility and they considered surrogacy. I offered to be a surrogate for them when they decided not to take me up on it but I realized I still wanted to do it for someone else. That’s when I reached out. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? The biggest one is if I am biologically connected to the baby which is “no.” And I also get asked are you financially responsible for the baby which is also “no.” How has the extra income impacted you and your family? We are paying off our debt and putting money away for our first house. The compensation is a bonus but not the main reason I became a surrogate. I don’t think I have met a surrogate whose number one reason for being a surrogate was money. It’s too much of a commitment and takes so much out of you to do it just for the money. The money is a nice bonus but not the main reason. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? I have talked to other surrogates about other agencies and they were not treated as a person. Kim has intentionally built a community by offering meetups and retreats. The first meetup I went to, I met so many women on their second or third journeys and they would not have done it again unless they had a great experience. I went home to my husband and told him I found the agency I was looking for. And every provider I have spoken to, whether it’s the therapist or the fertility clinic says that SCS is the best.
What advice would you give to women considering surrogacy?
I always say that if you feel like you can, you should, because there are not enough surrogates out there. If you have any bit of inkling that you want to do it, you should look into it. It’s a lot of hoops to jump through in the beginning but it’s so worth it. I have never felt more empowered as a woman! If anyone has the physical and mental ability, they should consider it. What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate? After I had my daughter, I looked into it. After I experienced so much joy having my children it was hard for me to see others struggle. I knew I could do it and I wanted to help others. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? I always get asked 'was it hard to give up the baby?' and I have to explain it was never mine in the first place. It’s a common misconception that you will get attached. But it’s not your baby and I think every surrogate looks forward to seeing the joy on the parents faces when you hand that baby over. It’s incredible. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? We were able to become debt free. Being young parents ourselves, we accumulated a lot of debt. Now we are looking into being able to own our home. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? I didn’t realize when I started surrogacy that I wasn’t just going to be helping another family, but I was going to be invited into a group of women that provide so much support. It’s like I have another family. I have heard such horror stories from surrogates who use other agencies and don’t receive the kind of support that we do with SCS. They go with other large corporations and don’t get the kind of support and attention. When I went to the SCS website, it seemed so personable, which is exactly like Kim. It turns out I had to wait a year from when I reached out to Kim and she kept in touch with me the entire time. I was a human being and it felt amazing.
What advice would you give to women considering surrogacy?
It’s kind of like donating blood: if you can do it, why wouldn’t you save a life. I felt the same way about surrogacy. If I can, why wouldn’t I? Obviously it impacts you and your family, so make sure you have the right support but it’s so worth it. What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate? After I knew my family was complete and I was done breastfeeding, I saw a post in a mom’s group about surrogacy and knew I wanted to do it. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? The biggest one is the attachment - “you’re going to run off with the baby” or “you are going to get too attached.” It’s not true. It’s a mind set. It’s like babysitting - I am going to give this baby the most love I can while it's in my care and then joyfully I am going to hand this baby off to its parents. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? It’s been amazing! My husband had so much school loans it was crushing us. We couldn’t make an impact because of the interest. After my first journey, we paid it all off and relieved ourselves from our debt. Our credit scores went up and we qualified to buy a house. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? I did not use SCS for the first surrogacy and it had been a wildly different experience. Having Kim’s support and all the other surrogates I have gotten to know has been such a huge help. You’re not just a number in a system, you are a human with SCS. You feel cared about and Kim is always there for you.
What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate?
I knew when I had my second child, I didn’t want any more kids. But I enjoyed being pregnant so I had considered surrogacy. Then one of my close friends found out she couldn’t have kids because she was born with half a uterus. I immediately said I would be a surrogate for her. They didn’t end up needing me because they were able to get pregnant. But as soon as I said it, I realized I wanted to do it. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? The number one myth is that you will get attached to the baby. People think you're giving up a baby but it’s not yours to give away. It’s extreme babysitting. You're not sitting there planning your future with the baby or thinking of baby names. You don’t grow attached. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? We bought a house with the compensation from my first journey. It's the only reason we could afford the down payment. That was life altering. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? Kim is the absolute best. I have surrogate groups I am in and hear so many woes about other agencies like they are so hard to get a hold of and my reimbursement didn’t come through. I feel bad sometimes when they complain because Kim is the best. She always gets back to me and has helped me every step of the way. I don’t think there is anything I have encountered that she hasn't been able to fix or alleviate me of my fears. Because it’s all local surrogates, I have been able to go to retreats and go to meetups. I didn’t expect to create so many bonds with other surrogates when I went into this. That is another great benefit of SCS.
What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate?
I wanted to donate my eggs because of my mother’s experience with infertility. I was turned down for egg donation but then heard of surrogacy. My friend was a surrogate through Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy and learned from her. I like the idea of not having a biological child out there in the world but still being able to help someone. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? The first that comes to mind is that we will get attached to the baby. I have never had that experience nor have I heard from any other surrogate that it was the case. We know from the beginning it’s not ours. People think you only do it for money. There are many easier ways to make money and there are so few of us that can be surrogates. Is the money great, yes! But this “job” doesn’t go away. You are taking it with you everywhere you go for the whole pregnancy. I also think that women who choose this shouldn’t be ashamed of enjoying the compensation. We don’t judge other people who go to school to be doctors because they want to have a high pay. The money is awesome and no one should be judged about getting compensated. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? It helped us buy a new bed that we wanted for a few years. We went on a vacation that we had been wanting to go on. It gave us the ability to pay off debt. My husband had been laid off right before COVID hit so we ended up living off credit cards for a few months while he looked for another job and with the compensation from surrogacy, we were able to pay all that off. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? Kimberley is very upfront and super non-judgmental about anything. She doesn’t sugar coat it. She told me it was hard but totally worth it. She explained that you get past those hard points and it’s awesome. She helps you through each hurdle. Even after the surrogacy, she responds to me whenever I have a question. And the real benefit is that it’s just her. You aren’t dealing with a bunch of different people. It’s just Kim and that is so amazing.  Tina is on her 3rd surrogacy journey Why do you enjoy being a surrogate? My number one reason is seeing the intended parents' happiness. I always knew I wanted to be a parent but after having my son, there was an overwhelming feeling of love that I never expected to feel. You love your mother, your brother, your family but your own child is in its own realm. It breaks my heart to think that some people can’t have this. My aunt could not have children due to cancer so this hits close to home. My friend and her husband tried for a few years and another friend couldn’t have children due to endometriosis so it opened my eyes to what couples go through. I enjoy being pregnant so I wanted to help other people experience this love. What advice would you give to women considering surrogacy? I did lots of research but to be honest, I ignored all the negative things about surrogacy. I am probably not a good candidate to answer this question [laughs]. What was the turning point for your decision to become a surrogate? I had a friend who had been a surrogate and it made me realize that it was something I wanted to do but I wanted to be done with my own family. When my daughter was two, my husband and I talked and decided our family was complete. I called Kim at Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy and she answered all my questions and asked me if I was ready to being the surrogacy journey. I realized I was ready and that is how it all began. It was the best decision ever. What are some myths that you come across about surrogacy? I would say that for people who don’t do their research, the question I get the most is that they think it’s my baby. Another myth is that you will have multiple embryos so I have to educate them about how the transfer works and the risks of multiples is very low. How has the extra income impacted you and your family? My first surrogacy we were able to pay off debt and use a portion on a down payment on our home. My second surrogacy I was able to do a remodel on our home. I now have a beautiful kitchen with an open concept and have all my debt paid off. It has provided me with a less stressful life. It has been good stepping stones to also help my career. I am a hairdresser and during 2020 I was able to build a salon suite so I could have my own clients in a private setting to keep us safe. This significantly helped my business. I am planning on putting money away for a 401k which is hard to do when owning my own business and this will help significantly. Why would you recommend Supportive Conceptions Surrogacy [SCS]? Because Kim is amazing! She is very sweet and makes you feel very comfortable. She answers questions I didn’t even know to ask. I love that she comes to your house and really gets to know you and talk to you. In addition, we go on retreats with other surrogates and I love the community it creates. To be able to talk to other surrogates in a relaxed environment is priceless. I would recommend anyone in Northern California to use SCS. I have heard so many other surrogates complain about the agency they used. From bad communication to not being compensated on time and that is exactly the opposite of what I have experienced. Everything has been done for me from finding a lawyer to working out all the compensation. I have not had any problems because Kim takes care of everything. This was especially helpful during my first surrogacy because she guided me through it. I love having the ease of having an agency that “has your back.” |
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